What Boxes My Mind?

Hello, Good Morning Everyone. Let Me Start By Saying A Line From A Book: 


"When your head is so jumbled with Thoughts and Ideas, so many that you mustn't hear yourself think, envision putting each and every thought into a small, glass box and closing it. You May Or May Not Open A Box, The Decision Is Yours. Let Them All Fall Silent And focus on the noises, voices, lights outside of your head. Try not to think. Then Focus on every single thought inside your head, let them all scream to you at once, and close the lid of each box slowly, paying attention to what you have." Excerpt from "Bird By Bird" -Anne Lamott


Yes, A Very Clever Book. Let me continue by saying that I am very happy, confused, tired, in wonderment, and honestly a little scared. I am happy because life is treating me and others well right now, [Even though my hand pleads otherwise] very well. I have recently been opened to the News that I am going to Myrtle Beach, [possibly by plane] this upcoming Spring Break! Let me also add that I have recently took in a great deal of more friends, which is always wonderful.  
As For Being Confused: I am ultimately confused in what the guidelines are. That might just be the most confusing way to say it, but to me it's plain as sugar. But more, say, Bittersweet. 
And tired? I am almost Always tired. Emotionally, and physically. I don't get enough sleep. I also think I have a chance of being sick, which is just rotten entirely on its own. My throat has been sore, I've been sneezing a lot, and my nose gets that way where it... Feels sick. Not stuffy, but just pressure... 
In Wonderment: I'm in such wonderment.... I've been noticed! People don't notice me often. I've been actually significantly noticed, in the way that people are actually calling me pretty. This seems unheard of to me. When people call you "ugly" enough, you start to believe it.  I still pretty much doubt that I'm pretty. I can be, I'm sure, if I tried hard enough. I'm just not ready for a leap in effort. 
And Scared? I'm not exactly supposed to say why... 


So let me just cover this important topic:


Everyone says their life sucks. But they mean this mentally. 
Like "ohh, my life sucks, my mom took away my cell phone" 
"Oh, fml the guy I like is going out with a girl I hate" 


But my life kinda sucks for the physical pain. My ankles have been constantly hurting for about 3 years now. I've been to a doctor [who DID give me physical therapy and a diagnosis] but they've actually been progressing for the worse rather than better. So when I say "ow" once, you don't say in return "get over it". It's as rude as me laughing when you're sad about your boyfriend dumping you. I mean... This is constant, and I just thought it was an issue I'd cover because of the fact that some people haven't experienced PHYSICAL pain to know how it actually sucks really bad, too. 


Also: on the issue of guys: I kinda like this one personnn. And he kinda might like mee. :D 
But there you have it, 


OverAndOut-
                   xoCassiexo