I hate it. I hate being ugly. I hate hate. I hate popular people. I hate being judged. And most of all, I hate not being able to tell anyone. Maybe It's just because I'm shy. Some days, I feel like I'm trying not to cry all day. My mind is exploding with negative thoughts. Of me. I judge people, sure. But I judge myself most of all. One day I'm going to just implode into nothingness. My soul is trapped on an island caged in by negative thoughts. It can't escape and find the real me. When I was little, I thought that souls were a real organ in your body. That they were filled up with happiness and good deeds. God, I wish it were only that simple. I feel so low right now. I need someone. I need support. I can't handle this. I don't want some creepy therapist. I need a true person. I need not to be judged. Most of all...
I need to stop being SO FUCKING SELFISH.
Sometimes, please remember that you're not ugly.
ReplyDeleteYou just haven't met the right person yet, who will appreciate you for who and what you are. That may sound cliche, but it's true.
I'm not the most beautiful girl either. I'm shy. I'm pessimistic. I make things awkward and I feel horrible all the time. But I always hope that I just haven't met the right person yet. And it'll all get better.
And being selfish for your self-preservation isn't such a bad thing. I don't think you're selfish enough, because otherwise, you wouldn't be blaming yourself.
Please feel better. There will be someone who does care one day. Maybe there is now, but they're just as shy as you, and they're scared to tell you. You never know.