Thinking Out Loud...

I'm hurting you for your own good,

I'd die for you- you know I would,

I'd give up all my wealth 

To buy you back the soul you never sold

[Liar-Emilie Autumn]

I hope you're suffering, I hope you hate me as much as I hate you. 

When the day comes, you'll be sorry you ever fucked with me.

You'll be sorry you ever fucked with her.

You'll be sorry you ever fucked with him.

I hope you see this, and I hope you get scared. You seem a bit too happy now.

Anyways, I'm currently at home sick. Alone. And listening to Emilie Autumn. 

I've reached a point though, where a lot of her songs creep me out. xD Like "I know where you sleep"

The lyrics are so twisted.

I'm kinda in a weird mood.

Well, I'm going to leave now. O_o

Kbye.

Amazing People :D

So okay. I know these seriously talented people.
Who are my friends. [Well most of them] 
And they are in this band. 
And I love them :O 
Because they are just so awesome. 
SO, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watch this video! 


-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qXhDIUFjpU <-


LIKE THIS VIDEO.
SHOW YOUR FRIENDS.
HAVE AN EARGASM.
SHOW YOUR PET.
GASP IN AWE.
LISTEN TO YOUR PET GASP IN AWE. 


AND ANY TEEN GIRLS: SHRIEK WITH AMAZEMENT BECAUSE THESE GUYS ARE BETTER THAN JUSTIN BIEBER. [Justin Bieber sucks though btw]

Notes.

Here are a few notes/letters that I scribbled up, but don't ever have the guts to give them to people.

So I'll post them here.

I'll write in the color that seems to describe you. Maybe you can figure it out...?

1

Dear Him:

I like you, and I want you to be happy. 

But how can I not want you to stop dating her?

2

Dear Him:

I want things to be less awkward. 

Remember how they used to be?

Remember all the times we've had?

3

Dear Her:

I want you to stop following other people.

Get a personality of your own. 

And Get Off My Ass.

4

Dear Him:

I want you to stop. I want more than anything for you to be happy.

I hope nobody ever breaks your heart.

If they break your heart, I'll break their face.

You're a really amazing person and tons of people care about you a lot. 

Including me. So never do anything...

5

Dear Him:

You're an amazing musician and all, but you come off as a jerk.

I've seen your good side though(:

6

Dear Her:

You're not in love. 

I don't care how many times you've kissed him.

7

Dear Her:

You were my best friend, what happened?):

Suddenly, you were dating him, and you hated me.

Still don't get it.

After two years, I still don't get what happened.

8

Dear Him:

First thing I ever noticed about you?

You stay happy. When people get you down, you don't show it.

You have an amazing personality.

Keep staying happy(:

9

Dear Her:

You are the person I can come to with the silliest questions, 

You are the person who I can laugh and joke and cry with.

You keep all my secrets, and you are my bestfriend(:

Never think you aren't beautiful. 

God makes no mistakes x]

10

Dear Him:

I can't believe you put up with me that night xD

You actually stayed up into the early morning listening to my problems.

You may be annoying, but you're not a bad person.

Thanks.

11

Dear Her:

You are so freakin' cool!

I love your blog.

I looooove your house.

I love yer personality, even though I thought you hated me at first.

Turns out your just fluent in sarcasm. xD

12

Dear Her:

I think you're a great person.

I know how much you've struggled, and I totally get that.

You're not going crazy though.

13

Dear Everyone:

If you're reading this blog at all, I appreciate it.

A lot.

It's actually really amazing, just seeing as many views as I have.

I love you guys(:

Half

I'm half the person I used to be. 
In sixth grade, I was pure. 
Good grades, didn't do any wrong.
It's amazing how that could all drop in a short 2 years,
and I remember so little from 6th grade anyway.

People.

Okay, I'm just venting.

I HATE THOSE PEOPLE WHO....

1. I hate those people who say they're fat, oh, they are fat and ugly and everyone hates them and they cut and attempt suicide and all that shit JUST to get attention. 
2. I hate those people who are just posers, they'll do whatever they can to be "cool"
3. I hate the people who follow other people, people who are unoriginal and just copy, copy, copy. Looks, hairstyle, makeup, way of talking, way of typing, whatever. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but I think it's an insult to be friends with anyone who isn't original enough to come up with their own personality. Insulting, and sad. 
4. I hate those people, who will pretend to be your friend and tell you all of their problems. You listen and sympathize, cry and pray for them. But when you go to them when you need their hope worse, they say "Don't come crying to me" or "Get over it", "I've had worse problems", or worst of all: Laughing it off.
5. I hate those people that hate you without knowing you. Just go, "Hey, she's not totally good looking, she's not in our group of friends, she's obviously someone who I hate, even though I don't know her."
6. I hate the people who think they are absolutely superior  to EVERYONE else on the ENTIRE planet.
7. I hate people who only like people because they are popular, or look good. 
8. I hate people who don't care. 

The sad thing is, I could name a single person with all of those, yes, every single one of those characteristics, yet people like her because she's pretty, and they sympathize for her. Because some emo-shit sob story comes out of her mouth every other minute.
Sorry if that offends anyone, but if you knew her as well as I, then you would agree.

fml..T_T

Well, I never thought it'd all come down to that.
I'd been dreaming [literally] of the day it'd end up like this.


My dad saw my grades, he started screaming at me.
I started to have a panic attack, definetley the worst one of my life.
It was the straw that broke the camels back, I suppose.
So I told him to fuck off. 
Yep.
So now, my facebook is deleted, along with my formspring. 
Becauseee when I was having my panic attack, I started to have aton of trouble breathing, like out my mouth and nose, so I ran outside because I thought the cold air would help, then I passed out. 


Like, on the way down the stairs. The sky looked pissed, and I looked up at it and then next thing I know I was lying down on the stairs. I was breathing a little better though, which was a relief. 


So I walked back inside, and basically, like it never existed, BAM! My facebook is deleted. ^o_o^


So...Not the best day. Because I'm also grounded until summer, because my dad thought I was faking the panic attack and I was "acting childish"


I think I might sneak out tonight. I was about to run over to Nicoles when I was having the panic attack, but I knew my dad would kill me even more. 


Oh yeah. He's also going to throw this computer away. Or sell it. So, bye entertainment. I'll find a way to get back to you somehow...

T_T

My self esteem is really low right now.
Doesn't help that some people just told me some really sad stuff.
*sigh *